We all know that feeling understood and accepted is vital for building strong relationships. It’s that bond that holds us together, right? Well, let’s talk about self-validation, a game-changer when it comes to accepting and embracing our own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Self-validation doesn’t mean that everything you think and feel is automatically right. Nope, not always. Sometimes, your thoughts may not align with your values or what you believe to be true. But here’s the thing: fighting those thoughts or judging yourself for having them only leads to emotional conflict and confusion about who you really are. Trust me, that’s no fun.
So, what can self-validation do for you? Well, it helps you bring your thoughts and feelings into focus and gives you the tools to manage them effectively. It’s like getting to know yourself on a deeper level, which is pretty awesome.
Now, here’s the deal: self-validation isn’t an easy skill to master, but it’s not difficult either, if energy and attention are granted to it. It takes some mindfulness and self-awareness to get there. According to those smart peeps at psychologytoday.com, here are a few things you need to do in order to self-validate:
- Listen up, peeps! Take the time to be present and truly listen to your thoughts and emotions. Don’t brush them aside or suppress them. Ignoring your feelings can have some pretty negative effects, while accepting them can actually make you stronger.
- Get real with yourself. Reflect on how you feel and the actions that come along with those emotions. Take a step back and observe your internal experience. For example, if a friend let you down, acknowledge how it made you feel, but don’t beat yourself up over it.
- Learn from the past. Past experiences shape our emotional responses. If you get upset during arguments because they’ve hurt you before, validate yourself by recognizing that it’s okay to feel the way you do. It’s all part of your unique journey.
- Embrace your emotions. Hey, guess what? We all have intense emotions sometimes, and they’re totally normal. Feeling sad, worried, or disappointed every now and then doesn’t make you weird. In fact, it’s reassuring to know that other people experience these emotions too. So cut yourself some slack.
- Be authentic. Don’t put on a façade or pretend to be someone you’re not. Let your true self shine through. Your actions should align with who you really are. Rejecting your own emotions is the ultimate form of invalidation, and you deserve better than that.
- Give yourself a pat on the back. Seriously, this is crucial. There will be times when you won’t receive the external validation you crave, and that’s okay. Take it upon yourself to recognize your achievements and encourage yourself. You’re doing great, so don’t miss an opportunity to appreciate it.
Now, let’s dive into some practical tips on how to self-validate:
- Be your own best friend and personal cheerleader. Imagine your friend going through the same situation. How would you support and compliment them? Well, treat yourself the same way. Celebrate your accomplishments and remind yourself of the great things you’ve achieved.
- Love yourself. If you’ve ever felt neglected or unloved, think about the things you wish someone had expressed to you. Say those words to yourself. You deserve love and kindness, so start by giving it to yourself.
- Acknowledge your wins. Create an “I love me” list. Jot down all your accomplishments and revisit the list frequently. And hey, don’t forget to reward yourself occasionally just because you care about yourself. You deserve it!
- Keep it real. The most genuine form of self-validation happens when you observe and describe your internal experiences with raw accuracy. No guessing or assuming here. For example, if your boss yelled at you today and you’re feeling angry, acknowledge it. Maybe your hands are shaking a bit, and you’re also feeling anxious and afraid. Be honest with yourself.
Remember, self-validation is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. It’s about becoming a self-confident individual who relies on their own acknowledgment and validation. When you value yourself, others will value you too. Embrace a mindset of self-validation, and watch as new doors open up in your life.
So go ahead, embrace the power of self-validation. Accept and understand your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Listen to yourself, acknowledge your internal state, learn from your past, embrace your emotions, be authentic, and always encourage yourself. You’ve got this!
